Twelve starting points
Twelve questions to try after school
Choose a question about something your child actually did. Swap “lunch break” for “snack time”, for example, if that is what they call it.
Small moments
- Which part of today would you put in a picture?
- Was there a small moment you would like to do again?
- What did you get up to during the lunch break?
Making, trying and learning
- What did you spend time making or trying today?
- What caught your attention in class?
- What part of a game or activity took a few tries?
People and shared activities
- What did you and someone else figure out together?
- Who did you spend your break with?
- Is there a class activity you would like to show me?
Coming home and looking ahead
- What would you like to tell me about the journey home?
- Was there something you wanted to tell me while you were at school?
- What are you looking forward to at school tomorrow?
If tomorrow isn't a school day, skip the last question or ask about the next school day instead.
Stay with their story
What to say next: five examples
Once your child answers, stay with their story rather than reaching for the next question.
UNICEF recommends listening closely and checking your understanding in words your child understands. [S1] That doesn't mean repeating every sentence back to them.
These are fictional conversations written for this guide, not accounts of real children or quotations from the sources.
Fictional conversation
1. When the answer is “fine”
You can stop there. You don't have to turn “fine” into a longer conversation.
Fictional conversation
2. When they mention something they made
Stay with the bridge, not how well everyone else did. If your child wants to show you the fold, let the demonstration take over.
Fictional conversation
3. When they say “nothing”
There is no need to replace the question with five more.
Fictional conversation
4. When they bring up unfinished classwork
The parent hasn't assumed why the work was unfinished. Here, the child asks for help; in another conversation, they might just want to tell you about it.
Fictional conversation
5. When they want to tell a small story
A school-day conversation doesn't need to end with a lesson. Sometimes the story is enough.
No fixed routine
Choose a time that works today
You don't have to ask at the school gate or as soon as the bag comes off. Raising Children Network advises avoiding a rush of questions on arrival and choosing a moment when your child seems ready to talk. [S2]
You could try later while walking home, having a snack or getting ready for the evening. Those are possibilities, not a schedule. If your child starts telling you something at a different time, you can put the planned question aside and listen.
If they don't want to talk, try: “We can talk about something else. I'm around if you feel like it later.” The same source recognises that some days children won't want a school conversation. [S2] A short answer alone doesn't tell you why.
These are everyday conversation starters, not guidance for handling a particular concern about your child.
Make it your own
Use words that feel natural
UNICEF recommends wording your child understands. [S1] Use your familiar language, whether that's English, Hindi or another language you speak together. A question doesn't need to sound polished to be worth asking.
Here are shorter and more detailed ways to ask about the same moment:
| If a short, concrete invitation fits | If your child prefers more detail |
|---|---|
| “What did you make?” | “What did you spend time making today?” |
| “What did you try again?” | “Which part of the game or activity took a few tries?” |
| “Tell me about your break.” | “What would you like to tell me about your lunch break?” |
If your child would rather show you a drawing or something they made, make room for that. These wording choices aren't age milestones or skills to tick off.
If you share a moment from your own day, keep it an invitation rather than a trade: your child does not owe you a story in return.
Keep an idea handy
Four printable conversation cards
Print the cards to keep a few ideas handy. Each has a starting question and a possible response; use whichever sounds like you.
Conversation card
Card 1 — A moment from today
Conversation card
Card 2 — Something they tried
Conversation card
Card 3 — The journey home
Conversation card
Card 4 — Listening or helping
Keep the cards as prompts, not records: there are no fields for names, school details or answers. Do not enter, upload or share student, credential, payment or confidential data on this public resource. Keep real family details out of shared copies.
A separate school task
When the next question is for the teacher
Sometimes you need a practical answer your child doesn't have—for example, which part of an assignment should be finished at home. Ask through your school's usual communication route. You don't need to turn the rest of the conversation into a report.
For a planned parent-teacher meeting, use a separate question list focused on the teacher's observations and any agreed follow-up. You'll find that guide in the related reading below.
Frequently asked questions
A few common questions
How many questions should I ask after school?
There is no required number. Start with one that fits the day, and let the answer guide you. You don't need to finish the list.
Should I ask as soon as my child gets home?
Not necessarily. Raising Children Network suggests choosing a suitable moment rather than asking many questions immediately on arrival. [S2] There's no fixed number of minutes to wait.
What if my child only says fine or nothing?
You can say, “Okay—I'm here if you want to tell me more later,” then leave it there. Don't use a one-word answer to guess what happened at school.
Do we have to use English or the exact wording?
No. Use the language you speak together and change any question that feels awkward. The point is to have a conversation, not recite a script.
Primary sources and further reading
Sources and further reading
The questions and cards are Schylva’s examples, not a school-issued format.
UNICEF
How to communicate effectively with your young childYoung-child communication guidance on listening and clear wording. No publication or review date displayed; checked 1 October 2026.
Raising Children Network
Talking about schoolAustralian guidance for ages 5–18, used here for timing and primary-school conversation. Last updated or reviewed 1 July 2024; checked 1 October 2026.
If a source is updated or differs from this summary, check its current wording and date.
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